We may or may not be moving to the city.
This would be bloody grand beyond all reasoning. I'm so sick of Houston and it's only been two months here. I hate this town. It's dying, something awful. The mill is shut down for two weeks right now. The mill, you know, the only thing keeping this stupid town alive at all? Yeah, that thing. It's shut down for two weeks to asses whether or not they should shut down permanently. The OTHER mill is shut down because it caught fire. Yes, a wood mill caught fire. Go fucking figure. Something got damaged on some hydraulics or something else equally vague and unexplanatory(I hereby make this a word for the purposes of this journal) and so the mill that Bert doesn't haul in to and thereby does not matter is also down. He only got to work for them half the year anyway, so we're looking at the possibility of leaving this butt-fuck nowhere piece of shit useless hunk of crap pathetic excuse for a town(ahem) possibly by the end of this summer.
After some shit they had to do this morning, Bert told Kathy to go get a 'for sale' sign for the house. It took us three or four days to convince him that moving is a good idea, and about the same amount of time to convince him that moving now is an even better idea. He wanted to wait for the mill to shut down for sure, but seriously, if we waited for the mill to shut down for sure, then what would happen to the property values around here? They'd swan-dive off China Knows mountain, splatter on the hills below and croak pathetically that your house will never sell, sorry about your luck.
Bert: What if the mill reopens and I have a job with them and the house is sold?
Us: You were offered better ones in the city with Gary. Call him back. House is sold when we can still make money, let's GO. Kathy and Sam will both get jobs and we'll have THREE incomes even if you can't make the same there that you do here, and all the kids will have all these amenities and opportunities at their fingertips. We'll all be happier to get out of a town whose entire atmosphere is depressing and doomy.
B: Well, what if we just wait till the mill shuts down for sure, then we move?
U: Dummy. If we do that, then there's no way we're going anywhere, because the house will never sell in a town that has no employment. You'll be out of a job AND we'll all have missed an opportunity for a better life in a better tow--city. Then we'll be stuck here, struggling to make ends meet, no way out.
B: What if we don't like it there?
U: ... Seriously? Can you not here the slightly desperate tones in ALL your childrens' and your WIFE'S voices when we talk about moving there? We ALL WANT TO GO. Except you, who for some reason wants to stay somewhere that will ultimately collapse and leave you with no job. Seriously.
Logically, it makes more sense to go to PG. Bert was offered two jobs there, on the basis that he's one of the best truck drivers in town. One with his friend Gary, and the other recently. He's most likely taking it for at the very least the summer time, which will hopefully convince him that yes, we should go to this wonderous place that has money and stuff that we can have if we're not too stubborn and stupid to go get it. HE, sorry. If HE'S not too stubborn and stupid to take it.
Am I the only person on this side of the family who isn't afraid to take some risks to make life better for myself(or family, but I've never had kids or someone else to take with me, so we're using the word myself right now.)? Is it because I was raised by my rebellious mother, that silly woman who moved to the next province over, shun shun shun? Now she's in Australia and trying to make life work for her family there. And it's doing pretty decent, from what I heard. Slow start, but things are pretty cool. Am I the only person here who thinks that maybe it might work out if we just, you know, take three steps out of the Houston bubble? PG isn't even that far away. It's what, three, four hours in the car and poof, there it is. It's not a whole new world, it's just a few towns over. Yeah, it's getting huge, but that's the point. That's the whole point of going there, it's big and has everything a person needs and wants. It's not like it's a huge scary adventure or anything.
These people go to PG every couple of months for fun, shopping, just getting out of Houston in general. They know the layout, they know the regions and the streets and even the locations of all their favourite stores, even though these are scattered about the city haphazardly like a handful of seeds scattered unsystematically in the grass. It's a place bursting with new development and businesses are multiplying like large and complex and inorganic bunnies. What's not to like? Really!
I think I'm just... the point I'm trying to get at here is that his being a closed-minded douche is going to cost us. The fact that he doesn't want to take a tiny risk is going to hurt us in the end. It's just so annoying. SO INCREDIBLY ANNOYING. I spent the better part of this past 12 months travelling, exploring, living and having fun. It was fantastic. Sure, I was totally mistaken in the idea that getting married at 18 was a good idea, but I got to see Seattle and the surrounding area, and I had a blast. Sure, I jumped into James' pants far too quickly and discovered he was a complete immature jerk, but the trip to our nation's capital was grand, and fun. And yeah, I was dirt poor and hated my room mates with something like the greatest rage of my life while in Saskatoon, but I have to say that was one of the happiest times of my (new and not under a parent's roof) life. I loved it. I loved the freedom, I loved the fact that every meal I ate I earned with my own sweat, and I loved that in a city, no one looked at you twice and no one had stories to tell of when you were little and learning about yourself without the context of people you grew up with is just so much easier. I was poor because I chose to live that way. I could have increased my hours at either job, but I had fun being a broke young indie kid, taking four hour walks at one in the morning and being able to breathe without the pressure of people's preset standards being wrapped around you, some corset of 'this is what I know you to be and so help me if you aren't, I'll MAKE you be this.' And I know this entire paragraph turned into me me me, but what I'm trying to convey with it is that they're never going to become someting new and shiney and probably much better than they are now if they don't spread their metaphorical wings and go try it. If they don't leap out of the comfortable and stale and stagnant bubble that is Houston life, they're going to die sad and undiscovered to themselves here. They're never going to give themselves a chance to flourish and grow, never going to find new angles to themselves and never going to change.
There is nothing that drives me more mad than becoming stagnant. It's sad, and makes you grow a green scuzz on the top of your head and heart and mind. Shake it off and GO. Learn, try new things, fly. Do it, please for the love of whatever, do it.
dirty
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